Tuesday, May 15, 2012

reflections on mother's day

The topic among mommies around me this week seems to be what everyone did to celebrate mother's day. "Did your family pamper you all day? Were you treated to something special?" Mama friends on f.b. gave big shout-outs to all the moms out there, and essentially to themselves.

Mother's day is special indeed and I am incredibly grateful that I have a living baby to hold on that day. DH kept asking me ahead of time what I wanted to do to celebrate. All I truly wanted was for us to be together. That is all. In the backyard, in our living, doing the things that we usually do on weekend... just enjoying being together. It is a such a honor and privilege to be a mom and for me knowing that is the celebration. Don't get me wrong- I'm not against going to brunch or the spa etc. and believe everyone should celebrate as they wish. (Maybe that is what I will do next year ;)  With baby loss and infertility being part of my life, it is part of my perspective on mother's day as well. 

Three years ago, when I was two years into infertility and few months after the late trimester loss of my son, I was traveling on Mother's day. I was in an airport when a wave of grief and longing came over me. I cried there in the airport- for myself, and for all the parents who struggle to have families or who lose babies.

I think of those people today, and on each mother's day. This past Sunday there were a few moms who I could not stop thinking about-- not me, not my own mom, not my mommy friends.... Recently a couple of the bloggers who I follow have experienced baby loss- one stillbirth and one infant- for the second time around. I just can not wrap my head around their heartbreak and the fact that people have to deal with so much pain. Another childhood friend of mine very recently lost her ten year old daughter to illness. My thoughts were with her all day long.
My hope is that on Mother's day everyone, no matter where in their journey, can find some peace on mother's day. Wishing everyone happiness...

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