Friday, May 21, 2010

Head's Up

Tomorrow I will be 34 weeks (yay! getting closer- 6 weeks till my due date!). However, yesterday's ultrasound confirmed that the baby is still breech. I figured this was going to be the case as the baby's movements and positioning of his head (which I can feel on my upper left side) have indicated. It was seeming like it had been quite some time that the baby has been upright. My husband asked the doctor when our last bi-weekly u/s showed the baby head down- and it turns out he's been sitting up in basically the same spot since week 21! So apparently I have a baby who is quite comfy right where he is- or maybe he is stubborn like his dad. ;)

According to my doc, most babies start turning head down by week 34 or 35. At this point roughly 25% of babies are breech, but then the percentage drops to about 3-4% still breech by full-term. Not sure what this will mean for us, but I am stepping up the things that I can do to try to influence the bambino to stand on his head... pelvic tilts, swimming, back to acupuncture, etc. If he doesn't flip in the next few weeks my doc could perform a version. I am not keen about the idea of manipulating the baby and possibly putting him at risk of distress, plus the success rate is only around 50/50. So we'll see what happens in the coming weeks. The last resort will be a scheduled c-section about a week prior to my due date. I'm not stressed at this point, just doing what I can and waiting to see what happens.

Hope everyone out there is doing well! Sending positive thoughts to everyone ttc, grieving babyloss, coping with subsequent pregnancy, etc.

Sunday, May 9, 2010

Mother's Day

Yesterday, the eve of Mother's Day, I thought a lot about my Mom and how amazing she is. I also thought a lot about the sweet baby boy that I am so grateful to be carrying.

Today is Mother's Day and my thoughts are with all of the Mamas who have lost babies and the ones who are trying to conceive. On this day I honor all moms, most especially those who have babies who are not here on earth.

Wishing everyone a peace-filled Mother's Day!

Tuesday, May 4, 2010

Eight and a half weeks to go!

Only eight and a half weeks to go until our due date- I can not even believe it. It seems surreal, but we are very excited!

It has been a few weeks since my last update, so here's the latest...

I've had only had two doc appointments in the last 2 months. This was a change considering until now we've had bi-weekly ultrasounds. Although I missed being able to peek at the baby more frequently, it felt good to be on a schedule similar to a *normal* pregnancy. At 28 weeks, I started kick-charting at the same time each evening (for peace of mind). The little one has been moving around like crazy! Most days when I touch my belly I can feel a part of the baby and have been trying to figure out which body part I am touching. At my doc appointment this week, I learned that what I have been thinking is a head, back or butt is in fact the baby's head. I could see on the screen that baby's face has been filling out in the cheeks :) . He's 3.5 lbs now and at this point is expected to be around 7.5 by full-term. Baby is still breech, but will hopefully turn head down within the next month. I will have an ultrasound in 4 weeks to check the position.

Recently I was thrown a lovely, intimate baby shower. When the topic of a shower first came up a few months back, I dreaded the idea. For one, I am not a person who likes attention. Also, all I care about is bringing home a live baby. Nothing else matters to me. Expecting parents seem to often get carried away with all of the baby "stuff", so I wasn't embracing the whole shower idea. But- when I was ready, I decided it is important that I celebrate this little one with a small group of people who are close to me.

Lately I have spoken with a few other pregnant ladies outside of the blog world who are due around the same time that I am. It is interesting how typical it is to hear complaints about the discomfort of pregnancy and how "so over it" some people are. It is apparent that these women are likely not babyloss mamas or women who struggled with infertility. Of course everyone is entitled to and needs to vent/complain a bit. However, I've noticed that everyone I've met in the blogosphere seems to possess a much greater appreciation for simply being pregnant and has a deep understanding that the sacrifices pale in comparison to the gift of carrying a baby. I want to say to some of these people "seriously, things could be more difficult." But instead I quietly observe.

When I look in the mirror these days I can see that my face is looking more and more content. I can feel my heart getting fuller too. Yet there is that part of me that is always missing Baby S. He should be with us as we get closer to meeting this little one. It kills me each time a stranger asks "is this your first [baby]?" And I feel obliged to say yes. Baby S you are always our first child! We miss you and we love you, Baby S. Perhaps as my heart continues to become fuller, that hole in it will begin to feel less sad.. and more like something that is simply at part of me.