Wednesday, February 3, 2010

Juxtapositions

Is it just me or do you find yourself continuously dealing with mixed emotions??

Try as I might to focus on the joy, there seems to always be a contrasting emotion. For example:

Being able to feel the baby move a few times throughout the day....&....All the quiet time in between when I worry about whether the baby is still alive.

The relief of finally getting pregnant again....&....The inability to fully enjoy pregnancy.

Looking forward to having a baby....&....Knowing that his/her older brother is not here.

A colleague and a friend announcing news of their "accidental" pregnancies....&....Thoughts of my friends who are struggling with infertility.

5 comments:

  1. Infertility robs us of a lot... I wish there was a way to go back to that unbridled excitement over trying to have a baby, but we know too much.

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  2. I recently came across your blog and have been reading along. I thought I would leave my first comment. I don't know what to say except that I have enjoyed reading. Nice blog. I will keep visiting this blog very often.

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  3. It's definitely not just you. I've been thinking about this exact same thing for the last couple of days. I am scared to get excited but feel like its wrong not to be. It's nice to realize I'm not alone.

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  4. I understand completely! In my experience the amazing joy of a rainbow baby continues to be balanced by moments of intense longing for the baby or babies that aren't with us. Thinking about you and hoping that your pregnancy continues to run a smooth and uneventful course! xxoo ~B

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  5. I get it too. Too bad we can't just sit back, enjoy the pregnancy and get excited for our babies.

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