Anyone who has experienced baby loss or infertility knows that well-meaning people sometimes say really dumb things that inadvertently sting us. I could rattle off a number of them that I've heard, like: "relax and you will get pregnant" or "there was probably something wrong with your baby if he died." Initially these types of comments would upset me (to the point of tears at times). Then a wise friend- who has dealt with more than her fair share of crap in life- reminded me that it takes courage to say anything at all to someone who is going through a difficult time. There is truth to that. So now when I hear such naive statements, I try to quickly let it go.
I had to put this letting-go notion into practice the last time that I saw my new RE (who I inherited a few weeks ago after my beloved doctor abruptly moved out of state). At my first visit I had to get him up to speed on my background because he had not read my file. I understood, I suppose, because he is probably swamped and just inherited me as a patient.
At the end of my second appointment as we were leaving, he asked: "Did they ever find out what happened with that thing?"
Um.... Do you mean my baby? My child? My son? The human life I created? Really-- "That thing?" WOW.
This man is a reproductive endocrinologist! Surely he should be better versed with appropriate terms to use. I mean, he could have just stopped at "Did they ever find out what happened?" Not to mention I reviewed at our initial visit that unfortunately despite all the testing we will never know what happened.
One more reason for me to hope and pray that everything goes well the next few weeks: to move on from this doc soon. Sadly too, my nurse coordinator for the past 6 months who I also loved was laid-off. The importance of our care providers can not be overstated. Not only are our health and pregnancies in their hands, but they become a bit more than that to us.. They represent support, safety, and hope.