For many of us, 2009 was supposed to be a good year. For me, it would have been my happiest. Sweet baby boy was due April 9th. Instead, we scattered his ashes in the ocean.
For all of us lostbabymamas and those struggling with infertility...here's to a new year of hope, possibilities and joy! I wish you all nothing but the best in 2010.
For me 2010 will be about forgiveness and letting go: forgiving myself for losing my child, and letting go of the bitterness that (for various reasons) tends to rear its ugly head.
I've finally taken the time to figure out how to scan and upload a photo on my blog homepage. (I know, not the world's biggest accomplishment- but I'm not too tech savvy over here! :) But I'm learning).
The ultrasound photo was taken at his 20 week scan... everything looked perfect. However, his heart stopped beating days later- we will never know why.
The footprints are the only tangible item that I have of my son's. At times they look so small- yet they always serve as proof, evidence that he was indeed a human life who existed and mattered.