Thursday, December 31, 2009

To a New Year

For many of us, 2009 was supposed to be a good year. For me, it would have been my happiest. Sweet baby boy was due April 9th. Instead, we scattered his ashes in the ocean.

For all of us lostbabymamas and those struggling with's to a new year of hope, possibilities and joy! I wish you all nothing but the best in 2010.

For me 2010 will be about forgiveness and letting go: forgiving myself for losing my child, and letting go of the bitterness that (for various reasons) tends to rear its ugly head.

I've finally taken the time to figure out how to scan and upload a photo on my blog homepage. (I know, not the world's biggest accomplishment- but I'm not too tech savvy over here! :) But I'm learning).

The ultrasound photo was taken at his 20 week scan... everything looked perfect. However, his heart stopped beating days later- we will never know why.

The footprints are the only tangible item that I have of my son's. At times they look so small- yet they always serve as proof, evidence that he was indeed a human life who existed and mattered.


  1. Oh CeCe. That is such a beautiful scan picture. What a sweet little profile. I'm so sorry that he isn't in your arms.

    I hope that 2010 brings you and your family peace and happiness. xo

  2. The pictures are beautiful. I hope 2010 will be the happiest ever for you.

  3. The little footprints are both precious and heartbreaking. I truly hope that peace will come to you in 2010--it saddens me to hear that you blame yourself for the loss of your son. Please be gentle with yourself, and know that I'm sending you lots of well wishes and holding you and your family in my thoughts.

  4. Congratulations on figuring out how ti upload photos! That is awesome!

    I think that is neat you were able to get footprints. That is more than I have. Here's hoping 2010 is better for all of us!