My sex drive is missing in action. Has anyone seen it? Actually it's been gone for quite some time now, ever since the stress of ttc set in. The other day I jokingly made a comment to my husb, referring to a couple of years ago as being "back when I had a sex drive." It's true. I feel like from the moment that I encountered infertility my sexual desire was hijacked. First sex became an effort to make a baby. Soon thereafter came surgeries, fertility medications, injections, IUIs, a dead baby, IVF. The truth is, I really miss having a normal sex life. I miss having sex simply just for fun and to express my love for my dh. But it's tough to feel excited about sex when I don't feel good about my body and I don't feel all that great about myself. I struggle with feeling as though my body has let me down in the utmost way- by failing to keep my baby alive. And it's tough to feel good about my self amidst feelings of disappointment, anxiety, worry, etc.
CeCe needs to get her groove back! Here's hoping that my sex drive makes it's return SOON and with avengence. ;)
Ha ha ha! :)
ReplyDelete...and I completely know what you're talking about! My dh jokes that this is the beginning of his 18 month drought! (you know, 9 mos for pregnancy and 9+ for nursing...assuming all goes well!)
Hi CeCe -
ReplyDeleteJust came across your blog. So sorry for the loss of your son. I lost my son at 21 weeks, also, and another at 18. But, still hoping for a miracle, though I can rarely even try for one due to constant cysts - another thing we have in common! Best wishes to you for this pregnancy!
Annie