WORRIED!

Yesterday was my six week appointment. I received my first ultrasound, and it did not go as well as we had hoped.

First off, before I get to why I'm worried, let me recap why the appointment was off to a bad start...Upon arriving at my RE's office we learned that she no longer works there! Apparently she moved across the country for family reasons and supposedly sent a letter out to all of her patients a couple of weeks ago. I was just in her office 2 weeks ago and there was no mention of this. Anyway, I know that's life- it's her job, I'm just her patient. But I can not help but feel disappointed. So I've inherited a new doc and he's inherited me. And he is not someone who I would have chosen. Moving on...

The doctor was able to confirm that there is one pregnancy that implanted. However, we did not see the heartbeat that we hoped for. Initially the scan showed no sign of life. "I'm not seeing a heartbeat, " he flatly stated. My heart sunk. After searching for some time longer and maneuvering the wand around, he was eventually able to detect a very faint flicker of a heartbeat. So either the tiny life inside of me is already fading away, or it's developing slowly. I'm hoping with everything I've got that it's the latter and that everything turns out ok. It is still early after all. Although with our son we saw a strong, vivid heartbeat at six weeks (and he didn't make it to six months gestation). I can't help but feel nervous. I know there is nothing I can do about it and I'm clinging on to hope, yet I am scared. I go back in a week for another ultrasound.

I have received a few comments and want to say thank you for lending me some kindness and support!