14 weeks

14 weeks and still pregnant! Here's a recap of the past few weeks:

- I did c.vs testing at 12 weeks and the results came back normal. Whew! In case anyone is wondering, I chose to do testing because I believe that information about your pregnancy is power. At my age (38.5) there is much greater risk of there being something I should know about vs. the very small risk of miscarriage from the procedure. Surprisingly I found the procedure to be much easier than an amnio (which i did with baby C).

- I finally had my first appointment at my new obgyn here in my new city. I'm not sure how I feel about it. It is a group practice that has an excellent reputation and was recommended by both the RE here and the perinatologist. Turns out it is the type of group practice where you do not see the same doctor throughout your pregnancy. You are seen by whomever is available Apparently this is a common model these days, but I hope I get used to it. We adored by previous ob and miss him a lot.

- The nausea lifted a week or so ago. Yay! No more puking and my sense of smell/food aversions are much better. I'm not fatigued, although I haven't had a burst of energy yet. My appetite is back. In fact, I want to eat every couple of hours (which is annoying). And I'm craving all kinds of comfort foods.

- I'm getting fat already. I haven't gained much weigh, but things are growing and shifting. I'm in that awkward stage where I look like I have a beer gut.. Nothing cute about it. I'm still wearing my regular clothes, but only certain things fit.

- Now that I am officially in the second trimester, the fact that I am pregnant is starting to sink in. I have definitely been quite guarded and am still anxious as there is still a long way to go. I wish I could feel like a normal pregnant person who had never experienced a later trimester loss or multiple losses. Typically at this point, women feel like they are out of the woods. I'm not nearly as freaked out as I was during pregnancy with my rainbow baby. But I still know the realities of what can happen all to well..Not just from my experience but from other babyloss mamas' stories.

- We have informed our immediate families and are starting to share the news with our closest friends. Although I am optimistic about the outcome, I am cautiously so. I am also extremely extremely grateful for this pregnancy. It still seems hard to believe that it happened and that I've made it to this point.

- For the first time I got to meet a blog friend in real life, which was so cool.We met up along with our little ones. What a unique type of friendship we all share in this community. It is so neat that we have friendships based on mutual compassion. S and I had already been friends for over three years and supported each other throughout fertility treatments, pregnancy loss, pregnancy etc. 

Those are some of the pregnancy highlights from the past few weeks. Like everyone, I've been thinking constantly about the families in Newtow.n, CT. My heart is heavy. 

Thankfully my heart is also warmed by many things to be thankful for, like: the arrival of White.Picket Fence and D.awn's babies!! And baby Raz! Congrats. 

Wishing the best to all on their continued journeys. Sending positive thoughts out there.