tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post7295291289995739391..comments2023-10-23T14:20:34.334-07:00Comments on not rated PG: the lonely griefCeCehttp://www.blogger.com/profile/07810772967886741377noreply@blogger.comBlogger5125tag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post-29951473649946176922010-03-31T01:03:28.189-07:002010-03-31T01:03:28.189-07:00What a beautiful post. It is a lonely grief at tim...What a beautiful post. It is a lonely grief at times and there are not many people to share it with.<br />Sometimes I think, because my daughter had a surviving sibling born at the same gestation, it makes it more difficult for people to dismiss her as not 'real.' <br />Those final few sentences are heartbreaking. Your little boy is honoured, every single day. xoCatherine Whttps://www.blogger.com/profile/01618295389400457254noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post-30296935474285537882010-03-30T19:25:02.103-07:002010-03-30T19:25:02.103-07:00As LuckyOnce said, it's nice to have this one ...As LuckyOnce said, it's nice to have this one place where your loss is not trivialized. That's what makes it so difficult and lonely - your loss is yours alone since the loss is totally intangible even to family and close friends. <br /><br />It was interesting to me to see the contrast between how I was treated when I lost my sons (getting lots of comments that minimized or dismissed my losses, being avoided by some people, etc.) and how my parents were treated when they lost their children at ages 1 and 32 (outpouring of sympathy and support through all the rituals - viewing, funeral, burial, etc. and far beyond). My siblings were "real", my sons were not.Anniehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/12316978989809741699noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post-11273462038720549122010-03-30T16:39:51.280-07:002010-03-30T16:39:51.280-07:00I am so sorry for your loss. It is sad that we al...I am so sorry for your loss. It is sad that we all have that in common, but it is nice to know that at the same time we are all here for eachother and we understand.<br /><br />{{{hugs}}}Mehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/02940842982543866147noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post-4798890421599926802010-03-30T14:55:58.038-07:002010-03-30T14:55:58.038-07:00I think being lonely is one of the most difficult ...I think being lonely is one of the most difficult parts of the grief you feel after losing a baby. You carried your little angel for 21 weeks and have every right to miss him and recognize that he was a person who actually died. Even after losing 2 little ones in the first trimester, I still can't even comprehend what you went through. I hope that over time you are able to discuss Baby S's short life openly. My thoughts and prayers are with you.Dawnhttps://www.blogger.com/profile/00260859740216679919noreply@blogger.comtag:blogger.com,1999:blog-7825586412870683556.post-1977998802438748772010-03-30T12:31:12.073-07:002010-03-30T12:31:12.073-07:00This is so true. I think it must be really hard f...This is so true. I think it must be really hard for those outside of you or your husband to truly realize what a real baby you lost. You created it together. You felt its kicks, felt the morning sickness, saw it on an ultrasound screen, but probably no one else (or very few others) did. It lived inside you and was a part of you for 21 weeks. You're right that family and friends who never met your baby probably have a hard time comparing it to a "real" person who lived and died and whom they knew. It definitely makes for a very lonely grief. <br />I found that the less I talked about my losses, the less other people talked about them too. If you want to talk about your loss in years to come, you will very likely have to be the one to bring it up, but people may be more receptive to talking about it when it's not so fresh a pain as it is now. One great consolation is that you can always talk about it here - to people who understand and who won't trivialize your loss.LuckyOncehttps://www.blogger.com/profile/07778768854314345726noreply@blogger.com